I've never seen fireflies before, not before I moved to this small region. Well I'm not sure anyway, whether there was really no single firefly lived in my old, err, residence---or there actually was, but I just didn't happen to give a fuck.
Honestly, it wasn't until my brother showed me the "Kunang-kunang" song that I knew 'bout them. Forgive me, but have you ever heard of this old-strange-lyric, "Kunanti dirimu sampai aku ketiduran, kumimpi dikejar kunang-kunang. Taringnya keluar, kepalanya membesar. Kutakut dikejar kunang-kunang."
Yep, weird, isn't it? But not in our innocently-childish-mind back then. In fact, we, or rather me, loved to sing those nonsense words a lot. And by saying a lot, I mean, every single time! Though I didn't even know what on earth was that kunang-kunang thingy mentioned by the singer, I kept on singing.
And when I finally met them, one summer night, 7 years ago, part of me knew that, I've fallen right away.
I've fallen right away
It's really hard for me not to love something, or someone.
Well, not in a particular way, though, I bet you know what I mean.
It's just, well, simple-love, kinda similar to admiration and honour. Being raised by a simple family in a small countryside may have affected my way-of-thinking. I often found myself getting amazed by simple thing, and without any realization, my mouth has moved by its own, "Crap! It's awesome!" I began to say something like this. People around me usually just respond it with laughter, though there's 'small-amount' of people who use my act to tease me. Well it's not like I dislike it. I don't mind, though, there's no reason to be angry. Because what can I say, I really am a countrified girl, and this is a public-well-known-fact... nevermind, back to my previous words.
It's really hard for me not to love something, or someone.
Well, not in a particular way, tough, I bet you know what I mean.
Someone ever asked me, "Name 5 things you really, really hate!"
Well, duh.
I may have said that it's really hard for me not to love something, but I also have lots of thing that I detest. 5 is not even enough. I need at least 20!
But one thing for sure, I hate... gecko.
I really, really hate it.
So hate it that it's almost criminal.
"Okay, 4 answers left."
I hate... frog?
"No, not animal again!"
Then answer the question yourself, sick bastard.
But it won't change things I wanted to say back then, because I truly hate frog and there's no single reason to tell me not to. I also hate house-lizard as well. And even if that person only asked me 5 things I really, really hate, I gave him 10!
10!
T-E-N!
I told him of how I hate thunder, of how I hate sudden blackout, of how I have acrophobia and thus I really hate high places, of how I hate onion and its family, and so on.
And so on.
But I love white rose, and I love rainy day, and I adore fireflies
There's no way that I could ever forget the day I first met 'em, one summer night, 7 years ago.
My house is surrounded by rice field, a pretty wide ones. I moved here when I was a sophomore in middle school. Frankly, at first, I against the idea of moving, because I've already felt comfortable with my precious neighborhood and plus, by moving to Bantul, the distance of my house and my school is even increased. I mean, why couldn't we just stay, or moved to another place which was waaay closer to my school? Besides, I thought, it was Bantul, what could I expect.
Oh how wrong I was.
Well, not in a particular way, though, I bet you know what I mean.
It's just, well, simple-love, kinda similar to admiration and honour. Being raised by a simple family in a small countryside may have affected my way-of-thinking. I often found myself getting amazed by simple thing, and without any realization, my mouth has moved by its own, "Crap! It's awesome!" I began to say something like this. People around me usually just respond it with laughter, though there's 'small-amount' of people who use my act to tease me. Well it's not like I dislike it. I don't mind, though, there's no reason to be angry. Because what can I say, I really am a countrified girl, and this is a public-well-known-fact... nevermind, back to my previous words.
It's really hard for me not to love something, or someone.
Well, not in a particular way, tough, I bet you know what I mean.
****
Someone ever asked me, "Name 5 things you really, really hate!"
Well, duh.
I may have said that it's really hard for me not to love something, but I also have lots of thing that I detest. 5 is not even enough. I need at least 20!
But one thing for sure, I hate... gecko.
I really, really hate it.
So hate it that it's almost criminal.
"Okay, 4 answers left."
I hate... frog?
"No, not animal again!"
Then answer the question yourself, sick bastard.
****
But it won't change things I wanted to say back then, because I truly hate frog and there's no single reason to tell me not to. I also hate house-lizard as well. And even if that person only asked me 5 things I really, really hate, I gave him 10!
10!
T-E-N!
I told him of how I hate thunder, of how I hate sudden blackout, of how I have acrophobia and thus I really hate high places, of how I hate onion and its family, and so on.
And so on.
****
But I love white rose, and I love rainy day, and I adore fireflies
There's no way that I could ever forget the day I first met 'em, one summer night, 7 years ago.
My house is surrounded by rice field, a pretty wide ones. I moved here when I was a sophomore in middle school. Frankly, at first, I against the idea of moving, because I've already felt comfortable with my precious neighborhood and plus, by moving to Bantul, the distance of my house and my school is even increased. I mean, why couldn't we just stay, or moved to another place which was waaay closer to my school? Besides, I thought, it was Bantul, what could I expect.
Oh how wrong I was.
****
The rice field behind my house. When the night comes, you can see hundreds small-green-dots come from fireflies here.
They're gone. Not all of them, fortunately, but most of them are gone.
They usually exist, no matter what season has come, no matter even if it's already dry or rainy, no matter it's a hot or cold night. They exist in a big, big group. I can even make sure that, before, when the night has come, you could see hundreds, no, thousands of greeny-small-dot-like-light, coating the rice field's surface, like a thin, blinking, green layer. It was one of the most beautiful moments in my life. No, it still is, actually. I remember those old nights when my Father used to pick me up from internet cafe. Everytime my Father's motorcycle passed that wide rice field behind my house, me still wearing my high school uniform, sat quietly on the back, not uttering any words, lost in my own thoughts of how can such small creature be so stunning and pretty in a dark, dark night.
But now they're already gone.
Not all of them, fortunately.
But most of them are gone.
Most of them are leaving me alone.
****
I'm no pretty woman, but I want to be pretty too.
So come back here and lend me your wings.
Then we can, you know...
We can...
We can...
Yogyakarta, 2012
Sorry for my bad grammar. Well, nobody cares though.
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